Faking It

I continue being interested in Native American petroglyph
designs to provide content for my acrylic washes. These
three represent a warrior with bow and arrow, one of his
slain, and another warrior who luckily had a shield. At least
that's how I see it.
Acrylic washes on watercolor paper by Phillip Hoyle

I overheard a conversation between two professional artists who not only had earned graduate degrees in fine art, established successful art careers, and taught art to avid students, but also wrote professionally about art. One complained to the other, “So often I just feel like a fake.” She went further, “I sometimes wish I had never gone to art school. All the things I learned about art tend to impede my creativity.”

The other artist agreed, “I know what you mean. When I lead workshops, the people who never went to school are not afraid to try anything. They’re not uptight about the proper ways to go about doing things.”

As I listened to these fine artists I thought, "Maybe I’m in a good place, for although I was educated, it wasn’t in art! Maybe I have a chance to be an artist.” But then I had a more sane moment in which I realized I was going to do artwork the rest of my life but i had better clarify my aim: for instance: Did I want to live by my art? Did I want to be in a gallery? Did I want to paint for pleasure? So for me the aim was to do the work, to sell some of my art, and eventually to be represented by a gallery.

I have pursued my art, following the advice of my teachers, studying collections of art in galleries and museums, poring over Google-searched galleries, and otherwise immersing myself in an arts world. I do the work and most of the time, I really enjoy it. Still sometimes I say to myself, “I feel like a fake.” Who doesn’t have such moments?

Denver 2014